Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Evanescence - "Breathe No More"

For the Elektra soundtrack, Evanescence produced a hauntingly beautiful song that sticks in my brain everytime I remember the movie, or the last few months of my senior year when I downloaded this song and listened to it until I could sing it (off key and out of tune) in my sleep. I love it because of those memories, and also because of the lyrics and melody.
Mirrors are reflections; they show us the outside of ourselves, reversed and sometimes exaggerated. But the mirror can't show us everything. Our reflections bear no evidence of our sense of humor, our intelligence, our faith, our disbelief, all of those things which make us into the people we are... are hidden from the mirror.

I've been looking in the mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.

There is nothing in a reflection that can actually fulfill our needs and desires. When I look into a mirror, there is nothing in my reflection to suggest intelligence, or loyalty, or a quiet anger that simmers underneath every action, a driving need to protect my friends and family, or that I would rather avoid confrontation than engage someone in aggression. The only thing visible in my reflection is a round face, with blue eyes, brown hair, glasses, and a mouth that smiles and frowns with equal regularity. This isn't a fantasy novel, where mirrors can trap souls.

But I say that, and yet I've seen it happen. I've seen girls driven by the demons in the mirror--too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short to feel like they're lovable. And so the girls starve, binge, slouch, or wear shoes that kill their knees and backs, just to be appealing to the masses. Because they see what's reflected on the outside, and if the body is the temple for the spirit, then their spirit must be withered and ugly, because that's what they see. The mirror doesn't steal their soul; they give it away, or allow it to be taken from them, until all that's left is the reflection, and they aren't sure where they leave off and the image begins; unsure of whether it's themselves or their mirror selves who are worthy (or unworthy) of love and kindness.



I've been looking in the mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.
All the little pieces falling, shatter.
Shards of me,
Too sharp to put back together.
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces
If I try to touch her,

And I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.

Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirit's well.
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.
Lie to me,
Convince me that I've been sick forever.
And all of this
Will make sense when I get better.
But I know the difference
Between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but to wonder,
Which of us do you love?

So I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no...
Bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe,
I breathe-
I breathe no more.

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